I often look to old text, books that have well-worn covers, various teachers and guides when I’m trying to understand (or wallowing in) and struggling with some condition.
I found some ideas worth considering from the Mindful Awareness Forum. It’s nice to know there are possibilities, even if at that very moment the choices seem few and far between. That is when I need the hope and knowledge that possibility is out there.
1. Don’t expect anything.
This is hard and counter-intuitive to our Eastern practices. What I would offer here is to place the expectation loosely and kindly on yourself by holding a positive intention and right behavior. Since we, most often, cannot ‘control’ the outcome, take the stress off and make your focus work for you not against you.
2. Don’t strain.
Similar to above. Feeling perfectionistic, nothing is ever good enough. Apply here :-}
3. Don’t rush.
4. Observe experience mindfully, don’t cling to or reject anything.
i.e. Acting as the witness. Pretend you are floating above the situation, give yourself some breathing room so you can see all.
5. Loosen up and relax.
6. Accept all experiences that occurred.
How hard is this. Since I don’t like one size fits all, different situations may need different tending to. What I’d say here, is, acknowledge what happened.
7. Be gentle with yourself and accept who you are.
8. Question everything.
We are all in the student position when we are trying to grapple with something that is out of our control, an obstacle to overcome. As a student we reserve the right to question, ponder, digest, and learn.
9. View all problems as challenge.
10. Avoid deliberation.
What I think of when I read this choice, is to find time to be quiet and let it all soak in, for how long are you going to carry on that argument or deliberation in your head?
11. Focus on similarities rather than differences.
Here is the big Kahuna! A key to all the fancy workshops on conflict resolution right here in these 6 words!
And it is entirely possible after reading this – you will forget what you’ve read. But the ideas that resonate with you will be percolating within you, surprising and available as you need it.